Through observation, it seems to me that very often
we will choose the path of lesser pain when dealing with
difficult situations, particularly in regard to relationships.
This may ease the pain in the short term but could very
well cause more pain in the longer term.
For example, when something upsets us or we are hurt by the actions of another, instead of looking deep into why we are hurt, what triggers or ‘red buttons’ have been set off in ourselves, we often step over or ignore the problem pushing it under the carpet, so as to avoid conflict with the other person and thus avoiding pain. Sometimes we might lash out without too much thought which also seems to relieve the pain. These may be temporary solutions, the path of immediate lesser pain, but they haven’t resolved the situations that have caused the pain the first place - which in all likelihood will rear up again at a later time.
They haven’t addressed our underlying insecurities, fears and lack of self love and self esteem which have been triggered by the other’s actions and are what actually cause the pain.
The longer term solution is to explore and address these so that we can see the hurt for what it really is, our reaction to another’s actions, not necessarily the action itself.
This is definitely the longer path and may at times feel like the path of greater pain. It is a sure thing however, if we work on our underlying issues and come to peace and understanding within, this will be the long term path of lesser pain and no doubt well worth the effort.
From Merelyn's Inspire Book
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I wrote this several years ago now for my Inspire Book. As I have learnt more about myself, about the universe, about life, about others, I am still convinced that we regularly choose the path of lesser pain. I see it time and time again - I do it myself sometimes, and it can be a good choice for a temporary solution, but I observe it rarely lasts the distance and the issue will surface again because it is one of our 'gifts' to help us grow. A wise person will get to look at it and really see what is going on.
I am hoping to include some ACTION comments in each of my blogs and podcasts. This one will only make the blog as the podcast is directly from the book, but here it is for this week.
Action: Take some time each day to look at some of the choices you are making based around issues that you are having. Don't get overwhelmed, just choose one, a difficult one if you are game, and see if you can find the underlying cause of the issue. Can you see why you are reacting the way you are, and what are the other choices you could also make for this situation? Then be totally honest and see if you have chosen the path of lesser pain, and if this is actually the best longer term solution? If not, be bold and make another, better choice.
This is the beauty of free will - we can choose again!
Merelyn’s writing is supported in part by the sale of her books. Autobiography - ‘The Deepest Part of Me’. ‘Inspire’ – inspirational reflections for your life’s journey. ‘Stories behind the Songs’ and her first children’s picture book ‘To The Moon and Back - Grandma’s Rocket Ship Adventure’. To find out more about her work and to support her through the purchase of her writings and music, please go to www.carterandcarter.com.au