MERELYN CARTER | BLOG

Student of Life, Wife, Mother, Grandmother,
Storyteller, Singer, Songwriter, Author, Poet

Introduction
Welcome to my blog and podcast. Thank you for being interested in what I have to share. It is my intention to write on a regular basis to share my stories, my insights and to explore life questions that may interest you. These are things that have helped me in my own life and I hope will help you in yours. I will share some links I have found interesting, and from time to time I hope to do some interviews. Please share freely with anyone who you think would be interested.....
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Living In The Crushing Wake
August 15, 2017
When we begin a relationship, whether it be a casual friendship, a close ‘inner circle’ friendship, a romantic liaison, a partnership, a marriage or one of the many other relationship possibilities, we often go into it hoping for the best – that it will live up to our desired expectations and that it will be fulfilling, rewarding and sustaining. Sometimes we go in a bit blind, or naïve. Sometimes we go in for all the wrong reasons, and sometimes for all the right reasons but inevitably some of these relationships go wrong, some horribly wrong, and we are left living in the crushing wake of grief, anxiety and uncertainty. Often our self-esteem is smashed to smithereens and we wonder why we got into it in the first place and if indeed we would ever want to embark on another such relationship.

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Why Doesn't Everyone Like Me?
August 8, 2017
At first this can sound like a primary school yard question. If we’re honest though, elements of that school yard carries forward with us into adulthood, and we still ask some of those seemingly childish questions. Point of discussion today – Why doesn’t everyone like me?

If we are honest, and stop for a minute to feel deeply, I’m pretty sure most of us will find this question lurking just below the surface. So what is going on? As adults why does it bother us so much?

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Who's Pushing Your Red Buttons?
August 1, 2017
As we move through life and interact with each other, we can often be puzzled by our own or someone else’s behaviour.

After a particularly unpleasant encounter with a man in the main street of my hometown, I was stunned, hurt, angry and felt a strong sense of injustice that I had been on the receiving end of his pent up anger, insecurities, grief and frustration at life. I hadn’t done anything merely said ‘hello how are you?’ and he had unleashed a powerful emotional force that literally blew me off my feet. Not much was actually said, but it didn’t have to be – he was not at peace with either himself or the world and I happened to be the one on whom he chose to vent his negative energy.

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I Am An Addict
July 25, 2017
I have always thought that I do not have an addictive nature. Gratefully, I have not struggled with substance abuse, eating disorders, obsessive negative behaviours or the usual things we attribute to being an addict. Or have I?

I live with someone who does recognise his addictive tendencies and works on management on a daily basis and I have seen the devastating effects addictive behaviours have on our wider family, community and world.

Recently, I have however, become aware than I am indeed an addict.

I have been addicted to my own opinions.

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Mobilising Humanity to Help Humanity
July 20, 2017
My first ‘Ordinary Angels’ interview is with Rosalie Pace – Senior Manager for Social Inclusion and Regional Development with Red Cross in South Australia.

Rosalie has many years of experience working in communities to help deal with the many social problems we continually face. The age of our social digital interface has created many new problems around loneliness and isolation even in city communities.

Rosalie talks about the challenges in her current role as well as what she has learned from past roles to give us a wise insight into what we can do to help ourselves and each other.

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I Remember You - Being Lovingly Present Through Dementia
July 18, 2017
After my father Norman passed away on September 13th 2014, it started to become obvious that he and my mother Norma (yes that is their real names – cute isn’t it?) had been doing a pretty good job at covering up the signs of what we as a family now know, to be the early signs of dementia in my mother.

It slowly but steadily became worse and we realised as a family that she needed assessment. Dealing with dementia can be very challenging to navigate, but putting the practical issues aside, the hardest thing is watching someone you love dearly slowly drifting away.

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Choosing The Path Of Lesser Pain
July 11, 2017
Through observation, it seems to me that very often we will choose the path of lesser pain when dealing with difficult situations, particularly in regard to relationships. This may ease the pain in the short term but could very well cause more pain in the longer term.

For example, when something upsets us or we are hurt by the actions of another, instead of looking deep into why we are hurt, what triggers or ‘red buttons’ have been set off in ourselves, we often step over or ignore the problem pushing it under the carpet, so as to avoid conflict with the other person and thus avoiding pain.

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How Can I Serve?
July 4, 2017
Poem by Merelyn Carter

Anticipation, Expectations, Responsibilities, Freedoms
Wrap around me like a warm summer's mist
Swirling, flowing, touching every part of me
As I breathe into my body
Touching my mind
My soul

The days ahead hold me as
Wife
Mother
Grandmother
Friend

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  I have recently had an epiphany about poetry. I had formerly thought of poetry being the style of verse that rhymes and has a definite rhythm, not unlike the song writing that I have done for years - the form of story-telling that falls into a particular expectation of format.

Lately though, I have had some very intimate experiences with what I now understand as a different form of poetry, that is free verse. Story telling that doesn’t hold to the traditional or expected (at least by me) form of rhyme and rhythm.

I have seen the beauty of the spaces in between the lines. The things that are not said, the rhythm that is left open, the rhyme that is not stated.

This has helped me see even better the spaces in between all forms of poetry. It feels to me a bit like our general scientific understanding of the atom. We have until very recently thought of the atom as being made up of electrons, surrounding a nucleus of protons and neutrons. Now our scientists are telling us that there is more in the spaces in between the spaces in the atom. Amazing.

Similarly (though I am obviously no scientist) I have now expanded my view of poetry to see not just the lines, or the spaces in between the lines, but the spaces in between the spaces. I love it. I have found a new freedom to express myself. I hope you enjoy my free verse!   Merelyn Carter
Hare Or Turtle?
June 27, 2017
Hare Or Turtle - what kind of body is yours?

‘We are fragile beings - I think we’re like a really beautiful vase, if we are knocked around and not looked after we fall and break but if we take the time to love and care for ourselves the true beauty from within really does shine through.’ Kath Targett

‘God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.’ Reinhold Niebuhr

I have always been a bit envious of people with great bodies. I don’t mean to make a judgement call on beauty, or shape or build. I mean bodies that work well, seem effortless at sport, are resilient and whose owners seem to not have to do too much to maintain the status quo.

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Rest In My Patience
June 20, 2017
At a recent family gathering for my 54th birthday, there was, as always in our family, much philosophical chit chat about life. I was commenting on how sometimes instead of rushing in to fix things, we can just let the situations play out and more often than not they sort themselves with a minimum of fuss and a lot of learning if we are willing to see it.

My son in law Michael, replied that something he has been learning in the past few years since he turned 30 was to be mindful to ‘Rest in My Patience’.

What a great saying. It got me to thinking. So I googled the meanings of the key words.

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Love is a Choice
June 13, 2017
On May 6th, 2017 David and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. Something we both feel pretty proud of, especially knowing that many of our friends haven’t made this marital milestone, and knowing that we shouldn’t take our relationship for granted, but continue to work at it.

When David and I married, we loved each other intensely, and the intensity of our shared love didn’t just flow between us, but also out into the universe, surrounding those close to us in its light and drawing strangers in to experience a glimpse of true joy. Sounds idealistic doesn’t it? - romantic love can lead us to spout all sorts of amazing things, the big questions are ‘do we really believe them?’ and ‘can we live up to them?’

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What’s Your ‘Why’?
June 13, 2017
“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” Mark Twain

“Like the bobo doll is weighted to enable it to bounce back up, understanding my ‘why’ is what weighted me and enabled me to rise after every fall. I’m not saying it was easy, but it gave me strength to keep going.” Daniel Flynn (Co-founder, Thankyou TM – from his book ‘You have the power to change stuff – Chapter One’

“When you discover your Why? it opens the doors to also discover your Who?, What? and How?. Who am I? What am I meant to do in this world? And How am I going to go about it?. “ Merelyn Carter

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  Faith is about new possibilities when we realise this we are freed from the extremes of absolute belief and absolute scepticism   Deepak Chopra
Words Are Important
June 13, 2017
Have you ever stopped to think about how the words that you utter affect your whole life?

Words are powerful and once spoken, remain ‘out there’ and cannot be taken back. Our vocabulary, the words we choose in our conversations and also our own self talk – that voice inside our head, can profoundly affect our moods, our expectations, our relationships, our successes.

Have you ever stopped and listened to yourself? Are your words positive, realistic and uplifting? Do they express your own values and truths?

Or are they bathed in negativity, self doubt and a lack of self love and respect? Do they reflect automatic learned responses that are based on values that are not your own?

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